1. Tor self-discipline kemon? Self-confidence? Do you make written plans, or just play these in the mind?
Apparently amar self-discipline ta ‘cyclic’. Sometimes I am very organized and disciplined, both mentally and activity-wise. But then it disintegrates and I do things ‘randomly’, which is not as unuseful and negative as it might seem. My own theory is that my balance arc is a very small part, say, a 40 degree arc in a 360 degree circle. I am yet to learn to keep my dial focused at that point for a sustained period of time.
I generally have pretty high self-confidence, sometimes to the point of arrogance. Again, it varies on topics and situations. I tend to be either highly competitive or not at all, which also plays a part in this.
When I am in my organized cycles, I make pretty detailed written plans; sometimes acting almost like a write-aholic. Otherwise, I just play these in the mind. I have a weak short term but good long term memory which also plays a part.
I am not yet sure as to the reason for my cyclic ‘organization urge’. Either I press myself too hard, or I am yet to find my true self, or it is just a trivial thing to be disregarded. In other words, my behavior is ‘not consistent’. I have been asked by someone I respect (you might know him, Muaz bhai) to ‘cut my peripherals’ to be highly effective… but I am not sure if that’d be giving away one of my strengths; and in either case, I can not seem to disengage.
2. Do you think you are a 'genius'? If not, what made you this good academically? Academic theke professional e ki oi carryover ta hochche/hobe?
I do think I have certain talents in a few narrow areas; am average on most other areas and suck at a few – just like most other people. If one can mix and match and apply well, he or she can be a ‘genius’. In your case, the match might have been better than average followed by good application (which should be obvious in the case of a good match anyway).
Following from the above, I think I had a better ‘say’/’hand’ in my choice of professional sphere, which has allowed a stronger match. But is this the optimal match? I am pretty sure it isn’t. As for carryovers, it probably is nowhere near optimal. Technically, ‘Training and Development’ is only one of the forty courses I studied in IBA – so there you go.
3. Do you feel the need to start working on your weaker aspects, such as your social prowess, or do you rather believe like Drucker that it is a waste of time?
Hmm. The world is a onion to me and I am still opening layers of it. As I do so, I can clearly see that there are spheres where I haven’t even tried venturing, and these seem like such a terrible waste to me. From there, not working on my social skills, which I perceive myself to have significant improvement areas at, seem wasteful. But again, I am not sure if I am a fundamentally social person. The basic problem seems to be that I do not ‘enjoy’ people. I dislike small talk. Information extraction efficiency seem to be very low in the case of humans. May be this has happened due to my overexposure to technology from a pretty early age. May be my extensive reading habits have allowed me to extract information in an unconventional (for most people) but very efficient (IMO) manner. I do feel these limitations in my ‘social adventures’, and they indeed are moral-dampening. However, there are also positives. I am still searching for that sweet spot, but I would say my social leverage remains pretty weak (though I have been surprised pleasantly in this regard).
